Man (Dude), you guys are never going to believe this, but the strangest thing happened to me the other day.
I was flying back into town when my bag was misplaced, and with it, I lost my key to the private bathroom. So, I was forced to use the public facility. Upon entering that the public bathroom, I noticed that there were no urinals, only troughs. Now I have been familiar with taking a piss for many years, but never in a trough, it was a new experience, yet erily similar to the experiences of taking a piss I had had before. Without my key, or my familar urinals, that I felt almost as if were broken in like an old pair of shoes to the way my pecker relieved itself, I was caught in a conundrum. Luckily, however, out of the blue, at that very moment, the swedish bikini team happened to be passing by and out of the goodness of thier hearts, they offered to hold my unit to make sure I didn't miss the trough, or even worse, slip and fall into a pool of my own wee wee. After disaster was averted, we all went out to dinner together, where they told me all thier accomplishements and asperations for the future, but I wasn't buying it, I could see that they knew that their time in the league or spotlight was short and that they were just looking to garner as much out of it while they still could. They were looking to, lets see, leech, or pigback on, or ummmm...hold my hand to the success and fame they would never achieve on their own. Yeah, that's it. And they knew it. And I knew it. We ended our encounter with them purchasing me a $1,000 gift, a nice try, but I still wasn't having any of it.
I may be a gay magnet (for those unfamiliar with that term I invented, it is someone who gay people can not resist, it in no way implies I am gay, because I am not, only that actual gay people are obsessed with me.) But you are a manget for everything that is past its expiration date.
Want to know who gossip columnist are? They are the people that aren't trusted to cover anything important, but that upper management would feel bad firing, so they give them some frivolous job that they figure it doesn't matter if they phuk up because nobody reads it anyways and the other 75% of the stories come from the AP anyways. They write about all the things they just feel like making up or that they see and hear. Which really only qualifies them for one other thing; moving here and becoming a judge.
