My Plan For Iraq

Ok, I'll Be The One To Say It, Because Everyone Wants To Be Politically Correct.

This country is not the world law enforment wing of society. That's the U.N.'s job. So, I would go to the U.N. and tell them that we are effectively removing all of our troops from Iraq while concurrently aiming 5 missles at that country strategically positioned to strike any area randomly and unannouced. Any more terrorism, any more infighting, any bullchit THAT DIRECTLY AFFECTS THIS COUNTRY, and we are going to start launching them followed by an all out airial assault . So its up to the U.N. to work out a way to make sure themeselves, and the other countries that surround that area, can find a way to work it out for themselves. You aren't dealing with civilized people over there. You are dealing with (ok here we go) a bunch of sand monkeys who have nothing in life to do but argue over some holy land. PHUCK THE HOLY LAND. Those FN people need to get FN lives and then they need to get some hobbies so that their lives aren't wasted away with B.S. about some sand trap. They want to blow each other up? Let them. Thats their problem and until it directly affects people here, who gives a flying F about them and allah and mohammad, and larry and curly or moe. Maybe, they will eventully sucessfully blow up the holy land too and then they will have nothing to complain about. Someone threatens this county, someone poses a threat to the world as a whole, go get them, but F those FN nuts.

Eventually, when they prove that they can either get along, or agree to blow each other up and leave the rest of the world alone, we can reposition the missles one by one. But if they think that one of their nuts on some "mission from god" is going to cause the whole country to be lite up like a Christmas tree, that's probably incentive enough to keep their problems to themselves and for the sand monkeys, or people, who don't want that to happen TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN FN BUSINESS.

Oh yeah, and gobble, gobble.

Update: Inspiration has struck!  What we have here is a queer mayor that likes to put up empty buildings, and over there, a collection of ass clowns that likes to blow them up. So why not send this fruit over to baghdad where he can build them a bunch of empty buildings, even some financial centers, that they can subsequently bomb. It will accomplish 3 things: 1)Get this douche out of our hair 2) Piss them off, but even so it 3) Gives them something in their own country to blow up. As long as they don't kill each other, it could be a circle that goes on into eternity and gets them out of our hair forever.

Today Is Special

Why Today Is Special...

Today is special for so many reasons
a gust of the wind,
the sparkle in the sky,
the change of seasons.

Today is special in so many ways
How your hair falls gently over your face,
Your eyes, they twinkle, like the stars above,
How you, like I, am apparently a magnet for gays.

Today is special in countless manners
The grace in your step,
Your touch like a feather,
Here is something that is too long hang from a banner.

There isn't one item that could tell you how much you mean, not a sign or a word or even some bling bling
but from the start, through now, and until time ceases to be, I would never trade you for anything.

I'm In The Mood For....

Its not that I don't know my age. I can assure anyone I am, have always been, will be, well aware of just how young and sexy I am. However, I do refuse to count the years that have been raped away from me by animals who are doing it for that very purpose.

I think I am going to refer to myself in the 3rd person on a more consistent basis from now on. Because CP just feels comfortable doing so. See, CP will do that if he wants. It's CP's choice. CP will do what he wants to do. Because CP has great judgement and CP knows the difference between right and wrong. And in CP's opinion, it just sounds pretty FN cool.

How cool? Well I even have my own theme song. Wanna hear it? Here it is.

The names CP-ezzy
I aint's japan-ezzy
Bein me got to be too eazy
Had to go out and buy me a little pupp-ezzy

Crazy people want to fight me
Their dogs jump up and bite me
Must mean that they dont like me
Most of them probably want to smite me

All this time I've been writin
Lots of haters say its bitin
Lots of crow they have been eatin
But differently than the way that their d and their hand that have been meetin 
BY THE GREATEST THEY HAVE BEEN BEATIN

 

 

Wouldn't he Have To Be Straight First?

"If That's Your Career You Better Watch Your Back (Yeah).

I'll Burn It Up For You And That's A Fact (Yeah)"

Take That To The Chorus,

Or You'll Be Taken To The Bridge, Or Off Of One.

Warning

For years, many of you have enjoyed and laughed at the idiocy of others who have tried to pull crap with me.You have read about their actions. Mocked their stupidity. Commented on how dumb others could be in relation to dealing with me. You have read entry after entry, web blog after web blog, about how stupid people have buried themselves by attempting to do inappropriate, illegal, and just plain idiotic, things to me just to try to make a name for themselves. You have sat there and ridiculed their actions, insulted their intelligence, and wondered endlessly about how such trash could even put one foot before the other much less attempt such chicanery.  WARNING: USE YOUR FN BRAIN. DO NOT BECOME ONE OF THEM.

Has What's His Name Got At You Yet?

Let me Start Off By Saying This. This "state" is the most corrupt, criminal, enterprise of any corporate or governmental entity ever.  You are all self serving, selfish, self centered, nothings, that have nothing better to do than to attempt to ruin the lives of anyone who stands up for themselves or what they believe in. You Don't Know Me. You Don't Know What Goes Into Being Me, and yet, none of you can stop thinking about me. They can't stop thinking about me. They can't leave me alone, They can't stop harassing me. They can't stop. They (THEM, THEM THEM!!! NOT ME!!!!) are the ones that need help. Your judges, your cops, your prosecutors, your doctors. You need supervision from trying to F up innocent peoples lives!!!!  They sit there. They read a web page they know nothing about. Talk to people who don't know me, but want them to think they do so they can say something negative about me, and who shouldn't be talking about me. And they think they know me. THEY DON'T KNOW ME BECAUSE ANYONE WHO DID WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING NEGATIVE TO SAY. But yet, they can't stop thinking about me. You are stalkers. You are harassers. You will do anything that will support your own self interests and the interests of those who support you and I am not one of them. You prove my point for me. Get FN Lives. I could write anything on here and some stalker will pick it up and try to cause trouble with it just to try to make a name for themselves.  If I said, "fuzzy bunnies have fuzzy butts" wait a little, I'm sure someone is going to accuse me of being a bunny lover (Hold up. AMENDMENT: If it were in regard to me, I wouldn't be called a bunny lover, that would be too civil. They would call me a bunny f*cker, because that would make me sound like more of a bad seed! A local renegade!!!). GET LIVES!!!!! Find a way to make a name for yourselves that doesn't involve stalking me!!!!.   I would continue, but I am not going to take time from looking at myself in the mirror to waste on all of you. (again, my point proven)

When You Find Sick Animals

They Problem Is They Want To Be Me. They Go Around Telling People They Are Me. When They Can't Have What I Have, They Try To Take It Away From Me. My Apartment, My Jeep, My Fame. But They Can't Have It. Any Of It. They Go Around And Defame My Character Because They Can't Be Me. They Are Nothing. Nobodies. And Because They Can't Be The Best And The Greatest, They Start Their Own "Clubs", Clubs Of Delusion, Where They Think That Only They Are Important Because They Are Part Of Something, Something That Was Created Out Of Nothing, Because They Are Nothing. They Are Part Of Nothing. They Leech Off Me. Make Money Off Me. Then Try To Con Their Ways Into Believing It Is Theirs. Its Not Theirs. Its Mine. They Are Nothing. They Will Be Nothing. They Will Get Nothing, They Will End Up With Nothing. Its Not The Things That I Have Or The Places That I Go, It Is The Totality Of Being ME; That Can Not Be Taken Away Or Stopped. 

In Most Places, A Promotion Means You Have Done A Good Job And Are Being Rewarded. Here, They Are Still Being Rewarded, Only Not For A Good Job, But To Cover For The Corrupt And For The Corrupt To Cover For All Of  The Deceptions Committed By That Corrupt Individual So That It Doesn't Look Like The Corruption That It Actually Is. Sounds Like A Criminal Enterprise To Me. But They Are Nothing But Hand Jerking Twirps Who Will Not Get Away With Their Deceptions Nor The Fact That They And Their Families Are Nothing More Than Cess Pool Trash. Sounds Local To Me.

 

  

Choice?

You know what's really pathetic? They always cry about how they don't have a choice when they do things, how it is always someone elses fault and not theirs, how they say it wasn't them. But, it was them. It is them. Sure it's their fault. Sure they have a choice. Here is an example of a choice:

They can go to jail or they can go in a pine box.

Now they have a choice. Make the right one.

(Just for clarification for the idiots out there. The "they" referred to in this entry in no way referrs to the author of this entry. The author of this entry is a fine, upstanding, gentleman who in no way embodies the trash described here. The author fights for truth, justice, and the american right of every citizen not to be stalked, harrassed, or other by every fan and nut looking to make an name for themselves by leaching off him or flasely accussing him of things he didn't do just so that they can try to become famous by placing their names on ficticious reports. Trying to "one up" the author by breaking the law to do so is illegal, no matter if you are leaching trash or have passed some exam, which in some instances, are they same thing. Others inferiority is their own problem and in no way the problem of the author.) 

This Sounds Familiar

12:00 am: I get over-dressed for an interview where I skillfully evade answering questions directly. When I get a question I don't want to answer, I smile, flip my hair, and giggle. It works like a charm. I am brushing up on my saying one thing, and doing another for later in the night.

12:45 am: I am on my way to a private party that I was invited to by someone who should not even be talking to me. It's probably not the right thing to do, but I'm sure I will get some attention.

1:03 am: I have arrived at the party where I am posing with my medal (34 inches, 31 oz, of cold rolled aluminum.) with some girls with big titays who are rubbing up against me. I especially enjoy the part where they get real close to me and say it's "just to get into the frame". I'm pretty sure the reason I am here is other than my medal (34 inches, 31 oz, of cold rolled aluminum.) and being here probably is not the right thing to do, but the attention is just fantastic. Plus, I am cute and I took pictures, so its ok.

1:17 am: I have made the rounds and taken pictures with everyone I can, so its ok. I am pretty sure at this point my medal (34 inches, 31 oz, of cold rolled aluminum.) would probably be a different color if I were not so fascinated with bs'ing trash. I really shouldn't have come here in the first place, nor should I even be talking to the scum of the earth people like all of the ones here, but really, I gotta tell you, the attention is just glamourous.

1:30 am: I make up some excuse as to why I am leaving the party that I shouldn't be at with the people who shouldn't even be talking to me. At this point, I know I shouldn't have come to this party and that the reason I am here is other than my medal (34 inches, 31 oz, of cold rolled aluminum.) . When I look back on the experience only one thing comes to mind. I sure got a lot of attention from a bunch of geldings who shouldn't be talking to me in the first place at a party I shouldn't be at. And I must say, it was flattering.

(note: This Is A Parable. This Is Not An Actual CP Experience As CP Would Not Be Dumb Enough To Participate In A Situation Such As This. Nor Does He Need The Attention. Nor Would He Take Pictures. Well Maybe A Few Of Himself)

It's All A Matter Of Perception. Mine.

It's Not That I Didn't Have A Regulation Size Envelope To Send It To Them In.  It's That I Felt It Was More Appropriate To Send It To Them In Something Tiny And Insignificant, Like Themselves. Plus, Nobody Else Here Follows Any Regulations When They Do Things, Why Should I?  Oh Wait. That's Right. Because I'm Better Than Them.  Enjoy The Pocket Change.

Here We Go...Again

Why is it that everyone wants to be able to decide when someone else is done? I have heard this repeatedly over the years in regard to not only others, but myself as well.  It seems like anyone who has any sort of popularity is subject to the whims of others to when they are done or not.  The media, for one, has become notorious for this type of conduct; using their assessment of a situation, or what they want to believe to happen to become the the reality of a situation for which they really have no clue.  Why must someone repeatedly have to respond to questions, inquisitions, and pure speculation about situations that even they themselves have never even considered?  For years, I've heard about how "this one is finished" or "he is done" or "that's the end of the line for her". Why? because you said so? Who the hell are you? Its not you people who live the life.  You don't live with it everyday and sacrifice pretty much everything to do what you do. But even after the sacrifice, you have to hear someone else tell you when you are done. Pure garbage. People really need to mind their own business. Its not all about the story. Its not about manipulating a situation to make good copy out of it. GOD knows there are enough real situations out there that go unreported that you dont need to sit around, speculate, and disrespect others about thing you know nothing about.

While I'm at it. Have any of you ever seen that show on that sports network, "punch the idiots"? Yeah, I know, you probably haven't. Don't worry about it; you aren't missing much. Its just 2 guys, who have never done anything, sitting around talking about stuff they really know nothing about either.  The thing is, they like to yell and act tough while they are doing it. Which is pretty easy when you consider that they are the only two in the room when they are doing it. I mean, even when they have a guest on, he or she isn't actually there, they teleconference he or she in, and then commence to yell and, of course, act tough. But wait, all alone may be a bit misleading. I mean, they are all alone unless you consider the company of the card board cut out faces they have in the background.  Wow, those are some brassy ones. Don't let the card board intimidate you. You yell and act tough to them too. But hey, you never know, maybe someday, you'll get the chance to act tough and yell at someone who is actually there. Then we can see if its real or just an act, because after all, its all fun and games until...

You Wouldn't Be Smart Enough To Understand Anyways

See The Difference Is, A Girl Who Uses A Bat Or A Racket To Do What She Does Would Have Probably Used It On Some Piece Of Garbage That Made Lewd Comments About Her, Not Been Flattered By It. She Went From Having Guys Wonder What It Took To Impress Her To Them Saying To Themselves "What The F Is Wrong With Her?" It Erased All Mystery Of What You Are All About And That Word Begins With L. Although, There Are Probably A Couple Others That Could Be Used Too. They Weren't Laughing When You Tumbled, They Are Laughing At You Now. But Then Again, I Try To Refrain From Judging My Fans Too Harshly, After All, They Do Look Up To Me. So I'll Leave It At That.

he can Call him All Night And Day, But Some canaryman Is Not Going To Make A Difference Against CP. See Thats The Difference Between Fantasy World (Them) And Reality (ME). Its Always Fun And Games When Im Not There, But When I Am, There Isn't Anyone Laughing But Me.

If You Don't Stop Talking About Her, They Aren't Going To Find You; You Little Ginger-vitis Piece Of Chit. What Part Of SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU Dont You Understand.

That's Right. I'm Not Hollywood. That's Because My Stuff Is Real. And So Are All Of My Body Parts.

I Have Officially Tired Of This Subject And The Below Me Trash Involved.

Is That A Revolver...

Never Mind That. I'm Fast And Furious All The Time, And At The End Of My Day, There Are No Credits That Scroll Across My Screen Because I Do All My Own Stunts, I Take All The Credit, And Baby, My Show Never Ends.

Now That's Fun.

I Most Certainly Hope They Gave You That Shirt. Wear It Proudly As It Will Serve As A Good Reminder To Anyone Who Tries Anything Funny. Right On!

Atleast I have Balls

I will personally pay to fly all of you back out to Italy, sit in the same studio, and I want to see if you would ask the same questions or make the same comments in my presence. I dare you, I double dare you MFers, to do it with me sitting there. I'd love to see if it would happen. I already know what the answer would be, but I'd love to see it.

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I dont need tin to get girls, they fall all over me just for me, but with a face like that some better keep that thing around the neck at all times cause its the only way they'll get anything, and even then, only for the tin. And if that still doesn't work, which it probably won't, don't worry about it, that hole in the middle isn't there to symbolize a piazza, it's there to jerk with.

At the end of the day, you all better remember 1 Very Important Fact. You're all just a bunch of quairs standing on a quarter inch of steal or a piece of plywood, but you better remember who the Phux I am.

The only one I would even give the time of day to was that girl who skied down the mountain just to stick it to the girl with the stupid name.  Listen hide-nN-seek, the only reason why anyone even remotely knows who you are is because you have a stupid name. You so good? Go out there and do it. Nobody is stopping you. Stop munching on the junk food, go out there, get in shape and do it, or shut up. Instead of wearing the tiara at the ceremony, she should have shoved it up her ass instead. Thats what they mean by the olympic dream.

You people really are bags of chit

This type of thing would normally be used as a web page entry, and may still be, but lets get right to the point.  Its one thing to be a media outlet, afterall, televison stations make money by selling advertising; advertising that is watched by people who tune in to watch the programs that that station offers. So, if a television station bids alot of money to broadcast a specific quadannual event that totally flops and leaves them and their advertisers looking at eachother in a delemna as to where to make up the money they are losing hand over fist, The lowly, scum of the earth, nothing to lose station will stop at nothing to pull out any type of garbage story they can in a pathetic attempt to get views to watch.  This type of programming is not only disgusting behavior in its own right, but is direspectful to the individuals being exploited and an insult to the intelligence of anyone who watches such garbage. People like this, and corporations like this, are the type of parasites that make up any story they see fit to address their own needs and cause trouble based only on the survival instinct that the competition in the industry dictates, then leaves the real stories unaddressed because it is a conflict of their own interests. Take a look at yoursevles in the mirror, if you can, and know that your exploitation and devious ways only serve to alienate you from anyone with intelligence and common sense.  Instead of relaying on others to create the type of entertainment you obviously can not on your own, why dont you do everyone a favor and roll yourselves up into a little ball and shove yourselves up your own arses.  I'm sure the ratings for that will be fantastic.  And for once, you will be exploiting yourselves instead of others. 

Trying to use backdoor tactics to draw me out only demonstrates your own cowardice, lack of creativity, and desperation for attention.  But hey, since I am better than anyone who works there anyways and so are my ideas, I can see why you need to do it, I mean afterall, I have more veiws than you do.

 

That Must Be What They Mean By Liquid Courage

There should be a new sport added to the games. It can be called Shoot Boarding. It will be 50 points if you shoot the board. But 100 if you hit the person on it. I would win all 3 medals in that competition. And while its true that slopes and halfpipes are on a decline, they dont decline forever and I know I will not be outrun on foot. Just something to think about paper heros.  

Try Picking Her Up, And They Will Be Picking You Up.

Some peoples Fame Will Last 15 Minutes For Two Weeks.

My Fame Will Last Forever And I Dont Need A Piece Of Tin On A String For It To.

Great Balls Of Fire

 

Let me clear up a point of confusion about a rumor some of you have heard about.

Yes, someone did run over the house cat of the home I am staying at. And yes, without checking on the condition of the dead cat I did turn to the drive and say. "Dont worry about the FN cat, It should have been those FN cops or that FN mayor that you ran over." And yes, I did mean it. Eventually, I picked up the cat and gave him a proper burial; but I would have left those MFer in the street.

My Balls Dont Swing That Way

Wow. I've gone to see that gay cowboy movie exactly zero times, and I think I may be going again.

Speaking of gay, I haven't strolled down the cat walk lately, but I'm pretty sure that feathers and ass plumage are not the hot new look for winter.